Woman

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Hari ini gue gak masuk kantor. Penyakit bulanan dateng lagi, kali ini sakitnya di luar kebiasaan sampe bikin tangan dan kaki gemeteran, keringet dingin dan sakit kepala. Kalau  lagi kayak gini rasanya gak suka banget jadi perempuan. Di tengah sakit yang menusuk-nusuk ini terus kepikiran deh nantinya bakal ada yang lebih sakit lagi: melahirkan.

Gak tau sejak kapan, gue agak serem dan takut kalau ngebayangin suatu saat nanti bakal melahirkan. Kalau diinget-inget perasaan ini kayaknya muncul sekita 4 tahun lalu, waktu salah seorang temen kantor nunjukin video proses kelahiran anaknya. Oh God, it was really excruciating! Semenjak itu setiap ngebayangin lahiran langsung ngilu banget rasanya, ew! Belom lagi ditambah cerita-cerita orang yang katanya harus di suntik apa gitu yang bakal bikin mules berkali-kali lipat biar anaknya bisa cepat lahir.

Setelah melahirkan, ada lagi yang katanya bakal lebih menyakitkan: menyusui. Kata Nyokap, netein anak gak kalah sakit dari melahirkan. Katanya, payudara bakal nyeri, puting bakal iritasi dan lecet untuk jangka waktu yang lama. Belom lagi ditambah kurangnya istirahat mengurus bayi dan keluarga siang dan malam.

Jadi perempuan emang berat. Apalagi di masa kini, dimana banyak perempuan juga dituntut memiliki pekerjaan dan karir yang cemerlang untuk support keuangan keluarga. Coba bayangin, punya karir cemerlang sekaligus menjadi ibu dan istri yang baik susah banget, lho. Gue selalu kagum sama mereka yang bisa mengimbangi keduanya.

Dengan tugas yang seberat ini, gak jarang salah satunya jadi dikorbankan. Banyak banget kasus ‘jadi anak pembantu’ karena ibunya sibuk di kantor. Banyak juga yang akhirnya meninggalkan karirnya untuk konsentrasi mengurus keluarganya.

Yah, kalau diliat dari sudut pandang seperti ini, dunia kok kayanya gak adil ya. Kayaknya para lelaki gak gini-gini amat perjalanan hidupnya.

Kalau lagi sakit kayak gini, gue rasanya berharap dilahirkan jadi laki-laki aja. Gak usah ngerasain sakit tiap bulan, gak ngalamin PMS, gak melahirkan dan menyusui. Enak banget ya jadi laki…

(written while scrouching in the corner of the sofa in the middle of excruciating period cramps)

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My moon, my man

October, 22nd 2013

I think you deserve a post in my blog. For everything that’s been going on, for simply just being there. Thank you for making me happy, for the laughs and hopeless nights, and silly pictures we’re taking.

Happy Birthday Bayu Gilang :)

 

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Abigail

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Abigail is walking down the streets, heading to the park where she’s gonna meet him. She comes early, it’s 4. 40. She spends the next 20 minutes gazing at the leaves and an old couple in a park bench not far. He’s gonna come around soon, and she still can’t find the right words to say to him. This past few weeks has been a really hard time for her.

There he is, still wearing his training shoes and carrying his gym bag. He’s looking like he hasn’t shave for a while, but his brown hair looks perfect, as always.

He kisses Abigail and sits next to her. He smiles and say ‘I miss you’.

Abigail smiles.

“I think I should get to the point already.”

“I’m listening.” then he holds Abigail’s hand.

“You should know that it’s been the hardest week in my life, but I’ve made my choice. I love you, with all my heart, but… I love him too. I’ve known him all my life. It’s not fair if I have to choose one, because both of you means a lot to me. “

” I choose him. Not because I don’t love you or I love him more. I do. I do love you. But he never made me choose between two of the most important persons in my life.”

“If you really love me, then you should never asked me to choose.”

Abigail stands up and walking. She keeps walking and her chest feels really hurt and hurt and hurt and tears coming out of her eyes.

To be continued…

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Gayaku Bukan Gayamu

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Kemarin, saya bertemu dengan Wanda (25 tahun, penyiar radio) di suatu kafe. Seperti biasa, Wanda datang mengenakan kaos, celana pendek dan sendal jepit kebanggaannya. Wanda suka sekali pakai sendal jepit, tapi bukan sembarang sendal jepit. Sendal jepitnya selalu keluaran brand terkenal yang yang ada di mall-mall besar dengan harga selangit.

Fitri (26 tahun, sekretaris), pekerjaannya di sebuah perusahaan tambang menuntutnya untuk berpakaian modis setiap hari dengan high heels dan aksesoris menghiasi tubuhnya. Make up tak pernah lepas dari wajah cantiknya dan rambutnya selalu terurai bergelombang seperti baru keluar dari salon.

Saya jadi ingat, beberapa waktu yang lalu, untuk pertama kalinya saya mengunjungi sebuah festival mainan dan komik. Saya cukup kaget melihat banyaknya pengunjung yang datang dengan dandanan ala komik jepang, memakai wig warna-warni dan kostum superhero jepang idolanya. Setelah saya browsing di internet, ternyata Cosplay menjadi tradisi bagi mereka dalam acara seperti itu. Mereka adalah para penggemar film anime, game, komik manga, dan semua yang berbau Jepang.

Entah kita akui atau tidak, kita terus-menerus menyesuaikan penampilan kita untuk merasa menjadi bagian dari masyarakat. Seperti Fitri yang menjadi sangat fashionable karena tuntutan pekerjaan, bertolak belakang dengan Wanda yang sangat cuek atau para cosplayer yang merupakan bagian dari komunitas hobi mereka.

Tanpa kita sadari, fashion telah menjadi bagian dari gaya hidup kita, terutama bagi wanita. Pekerjaan, hobi, trend saat ini, lingkungan sosial, agama, media, dan banyak faktor lain tanpa kita sadari turut mempengaruhi gaya fashion kita. Because fashion is a form of expression. Be who you are with your own style!

Jadi, pakai baju apa hari ini?

[As published at HiFashion Magazine, April Edition]

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Undefined

I used to be so simple

Got the world in my hand

Smile and taking control

My own life is where I stand

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You came with a broken heart

Fragile and so hollow

I look to the past

I should have said no

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I said don’t make me fall harder

I don’t wanna get hurt

You keep me closer

Make me drown deeper and deeper

Didn’t realize you’re a loser

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I thought you were happy

Talk about dreams and beer and coffee

Want to stay but i’m sorry

Can’t stand your insecurity

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Reff:

We both loved

We both lonely

It takes you too long

I’ll be the one who’s gone

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Bridge:

There’ll be time when we missed each other

But it’s too late

You’re the one who wanted all of this

Undefined

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Flashback

Someone say hi to me, and it’s kinda make you flashback to certain times in your life you spent with that person. Aaaand, I’m intrigue to open some of my old writing in my notebook. Most of them was made during some broken-hearted period. I don’t know, I think I feel more creative during that kind of situation. It’s very personal and a little bit cheesy, but it would be a waste not to be published.

 

Another tears come down

You’ll never know

I’m down right now

 

I must say goodbye

‘Cause it’s not fair if I stay

Build more bricks in my heart

It’s over and it is hard

 

Now I’m sitting next to you

With fake smile and decent laugh

If you really a man with heart

You should know for me it’s hard

 

I believe when you say sorry

But I mean it when I say goodbye

You’ll be regret to let me go

I’m the best you’ll ever know

-

 

 

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Begin Again

Every time I flashback for 2012, I found a lot of stories to tell, up and down, goodbye, tears, love, friendship, I could say 2012 was a rollercoaster year!

I got a new job in an advertising agency where I made some really good friends, a new lover, a cool boss, and a series of unforgettable adventures. They’re  like my second family right now. But, sometimes good things didn’t last long for there were some management changes in the company and some of us decided to resign and go to different way. Well, it’s life, life’s full of changes, and you just gotta live with it and do what you think is right. I decided to stay, until another door opens for a new opportunity.

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So, what’s still pending for 2013?

I have my 100 things to do before I die list and working on it, slowly, hehehe.

My college final project must have done in 2013. It’s been too long paused.

Gain some weight, I just feel too skinny and I hate my flat butt!

And there’s some ‘me’ projects on my mind that I’m not ready to shared yet.

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That was a fun year. Less sleep, more laugh, more alive. Let’s begin again.

I wish you have a great year ahead, and don’t forget to have fun!

 

happy new year

 

 

 

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2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 4,800 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 8 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Keep Calm & Eat Cupcakes

Hi everybody,
I just wanna tell you that I’ve crossed something in my 100 things to do before I die. It’s learning how to bake. I know it’s gonna take time to finish everything on the list, fiuhhh. I’ll keep you posted with the progress! Kiss 😘

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The baking class was held by Urbanesia with Cooking Plus and I had a really great time, thank you guys!

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